So an update is in need - and a place for me to vent. So the half marathon was a success! I finished the 13.1 miles in 2 hours 36 minutes and 36 seconds. I ran it at an 11:58 min/mile. So not pro status, but I was very satsified with this accomplishment. I also managed to run the entire thing (other than walking through the water breaks so that I didn't break my arm trying to get the cup.) I did stop to walk around mile 10 but that made me legs feel so heavy that I started running again and didn't stop until the finish line. So this is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm already thinking about running another one before the year end.
But now for the angry part. I have not lost any weight in the past three weeks. In fact I have gained a few pounds. I am feeling completely hopeless and frustrated. I know that people are going to tell me that I'm doing great and I've come so far, and I know this, but I feel like I'm stuck in this hole that I can't get out of it. I managed to do so well thus far and then BAM! A wall that I can't seem to break, climb over, dig under - nada! I feel absolutely disgusted when I look in the mirror and the way I feel about myself. I've tried rearranging my thoughts - knowing that negative thoughts only fuel negative behavior, but it's not working. I have gotten so tired of counting every point that it's making me angry (and the fact that I had to cancel my account at the end of this month because of money issues doesn't help.) I feel more confident in knowing what I should and shouldn't be eating, and I know that I need to get back on track - but that's part of the problem. I'm not divulging in crap, but I can't seem to get it all back on track. I work out like crazy, and won't lose a pound, and I'm so frustrated! I can't even think straight or arrange my thoughts because of the disgust I feel about the whole situation! BLAH! (I am done venting now as I have nothing else to say.)